  | ||||||||
 wednesday, april 4Remain calm? Would you? If the world were crashing down around you? Or you crashing down to the world? Would you remain calm? Have you seen how languid people look in those airline safety cards? They seem to saunter away from any emergency. The chick with the rosy cheeks? She's quite happy to be floating, grasping onto her seat cushion without a care in the world. I can only surmise that her plane ditched into the Sea of Tranquillity. What do we do? Look out the window. Flames? Smoke? Water? If any or all proceed to another exit (run like hell would be more apt). Should the coast be clear, remove the exit and depending upon the plane, place it on the seats or chuck it clear. I don't know about you, but I think that it would be more satisfying to chuck the fucker into the breach. Then there's a whole mess of stuff to do to get out of the plane which might be full of smoke, on fire or sinking below the waves. I've seen Airport. I know what happens. Have we kept our wits? Are we freaking out, screaming, tearing our hair from the roots? I don't know what I would do. One would hope to become that one person who manages to keep her head and does the right thing for one and all. My moments of "fuck you all" are pretty limited to brief bursts of indignation when someone else jumps ahead in line at the coffee shop.
John Hodgman's Eating It - "'Eating It' is, I am told, a slang expression meaning 'performing badly.' Disguised as a simple audience member, I have attended this regular Monday show several times now, and I have never seen anyone 'eat it.' (This past Monday, Patrick Borelli was bit on the ear by a live monkey, but I do not consider this 'eating it.' That's just the kind of bad luck every monkey-handler runs into from time to time). On the contrary, everyone involved is very talented and I'm lucky and glad to have been invited." Eric's been busy. The Mysteries of the LEGO genome. Clem's 10,000 dreams. "To dream of small dogs, indicates that your thoughts and chief pleasures are of a frivolous order." The day before yesterday? Red Planet, missing luggage and ice. |
|
|
  |
|
|
|
© 2000 - 2001
|
|
