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1. I have a tattoo that's an "@" sign. 2. I had a mohawk in university. 3. I was Miss March on a KFC calendar. |
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1. if i had have been born female my parents wanted to name me natasha 2. i met leaticia sadier (stereolab) after a gig in brussels 3. i have recently and sadly discovered that i am alergic to tofu 1. I have a tattoo on my right butt cheek of a skull and crossbones. 2. My first boyfriend ever had severe ADHD, was diagnosed bipolar and schizophrenic, and used to sell his medicine to his friends. 3. I ate a big bag of sugar for $5. 1. My tongue is pierced. 2. I once stole over $3000 worth of merchandise from Wal-Mart. 3.I have slept with over 450 people. 1. I saw Art Linkletter peeing on a tree. 2. Eartha Kitt made a pass at me. 3. I got drunk with John Lennon at Trader Vics. 1. I smoked dope with someone from Llamasoft 2. I smoked dope with somone at Microsoft 3 I smoked dope with someone from Acclaim 1. My sister attended Glagow School of Art whilst Fran Healey(Travis) dropped out to form 'a band'. 2. My cousin attended high school with the remaining Irish members from Ash. 3. I blow cock spunk into chickens as a means of artifical insemination, for a living. 1. I once drank surgical spirit, then shit blood 2. I once tried Muscular relaxants and shit myself 3. I'm once trained as a Gynacologist 1. I wanted achne really,really badly when I was a child. 2. For a short period in my life I dabbled with rock cocaine, but quickly became bored and gave up. 3. I have dated sisters who are also strippers, and vice-a-versa 1) I had an affair with Grand Prix Driver Gerhardt Berger. 2) I won an International Youth Public Speaking Trophy at the United Nations in New York. 3) I bleached my hair and eyebrows white blonde whilst at University. 1. I'd rather eat a mango than floss my teeth. 2. I was involved with two men, and lived together with both for six months. 3. Drinking myself to death is working fast enough. I have an evil bear (radiohead) tatoo on my arm I have an anarchy tatoo on my let I have a tatoo of a hammer on my toe 1. Michael Douglas hugged me. 2. I made my childhood best friend throw poo. 3. I love red headed men. 1. I won a limmerick contest when I was twelve. 2. I took (and hated) clarinet lessons for half a year in elementary school. 3. I once cracked the windshield of my parents' car with the top of my head in an accident. 1. I was once almost cropdusted while working in the cornfeilds at age 14 2. Last year I peed my pants in a Las Vegas hotel hallway while trying my key in every door on the 16th floor 3. My fraternal twin brother played the nerd, Mitch, in the movie "Real Genius". 1. i am a huge michael jackson fan. 2. at one point in time i was a new kids on the black fan. 3. i have n'sync hanging on my wall. 1. I believe in god 2. I've never seen Australia 3. I will rule the world 1. I have fallen 3-stories into a garbage dumpster. 2. I've once gotten a blowjob from a female cop. 3. I've read through the whole bible. 1. Jello Biafra once came to a party at my house in San Fransisco. It took me an hour to get up the guts to say "hello". 2. I cried the first time I flew in a plane because "I didn't see any angels". 3. I'm tall. Really. 1. I am uncircumcized. 2. I am secretly an onanist. My lovers do not realize this. 3. I have a compulsion to look up the skirts of pretty girls and will go to great lengths to do so. 1. I had my eye shot out. 2. I threw lawn furniture through a wall-size window in a "high security" living establishment. 3. I lost my virginity in drug rehab. 1. I have been in 8 car accidents. 2. In college I threw up a lot. 3. Jennifer Anniston is really married to me. 1. i peeed in a girls eye while playing doctor when i was 8 years old. 2. i love capri pants. 3. i am petrified of grover from sesame street. 1. I tore my ankle ligaments apart in a snowboarding accident 2. I can say the alphabet backwards at an impressive speed 3. I have every episode of "the transformers" on VHS. 1. I'm kind of attracted to bette midler 2. I don't care when my pets die 3. I secretly believe the world revolves around me 1. I love my wife 2. All her frinds are hot 3. I have had 3 - somes with most of them. (life is good) 1. I once put a porn in the VCR only to find my father had recorded over it with himself masturbating to a Hustler. 2. Sat next to Neve Campbell and John Cusack at a Blackhawk's game. 3. I am a Java programming master. 1. I am going to the upcomming Tool concert. 2. I have worked in the mall, and one day left during my shift to go watch Billy Madison with my friends. 3. I am a "Mormon" who says the "Fuck" word way too often. 1) I have hair made of wasps 2) I like pissing on mice 3) My teeth are made of glue 1. i did not speak my first words till i was six years old 2. i frequent a local opium den 3. i've had sex with a woman and her dog at the same time 1. Because my ancestors were practising black magic for the good of their villages in Cameroon, I have occult abilities similar to empathy which only work on human, not animals. 2. I love "sunny delight" drinks because they are full of chemicals. 3. My mother comes from Cameroon. 1. I'm the most handsome boy in New York. 2. I just turned 23, have an architecture degree and a Master's degree from Columbia University. 3. I am the secret son of Elvis Presley and Brigitte Bardot. 1. never done hard drugs. 2. never had sex with 2 girls at the same time. 3. no sex yet this year. 1. I once tried to start smoking but I couldn't get addicted. All my friends are. Im so different. 2. Once, I was mistaken for a girl and nearly got beat up. 3. I drink alone 1. The only certain thing in this world is the presence of the uncertain. 2. If you haven't said anything worth qouting then you haven't *really* said anything at all. 3. Sometimes reality is more *real* in our subconsious. 1. I was saved by a complete stranger when i was pulled out of the way of an incoming subway train. 2. I've killed someone in self-defence. 3. I caught my dog just before it jumped through the second story window of my apartment. 1. I cheated on my girlfriend 4 days in to a travel trip 2. I haven't had sex this year 3. pieter is my real name sht.sry. launch: 1. I've tried to steal Papa Roach's lead singer Coby's Thumb ring on a consert. 2. I have by accident shocked myself five times on 240 volts in my apartment. 3. My favorite color is white. 1. My mom overprotected me and now im an hysterical bitch. 2. I dont really want to piss people, but i always do one way or another. 3. My designs are so original. 1.I have sold E but never tried it. 2.I've shaken hands with Steve Jobs. 3.I once ended up in brothel in an Arab country and thought I was going to get killed. 1. I once was in a car full of skinheads in Detroit tripping on 4 tabs of liberty acid and got shot at by a car full of blacks with sub-machine guns. They caught a flat tire and we got off the next exit so we could come back around just to laugh at them. 2. I got hit on by Parker Posey while her boyfriend went to the bathroom. 3. I like the new Star Wars movies. 1. My father was once Janis Joplin's man servant. 2. I have built 1047 Mobile Suit Gundam models. 3. I know a horrible secret that could ruin the lives of two of my former best friends. 1. I hate my tattoos. 2. I've got a kid. 3. I once had sex with two girls at the same time. 1. I will always be madly in love with the designer of my tattoo. 2. I often wonder if my daughter is really mine. 3. I sometimes have sexual fantasies about my best friend. 1. Since I dropped school and discovered the internet in 98 I don't have a social life anymore and to be honest I don't miss it. People are all superficial 2. I make my living running several high quality porn sites and get a monthly paycheck from a company that I don't work for anymore 3. I've been in jail for a month because I broke an officer's nose and stole his gun in 97 1. two tattoos, both internet related 2. drive an orange car 3. i've dated 5 cheerleaders in my lifetime (so far) 1. My first sexual encounter was with a friend in the back seat of our high school teacher's mini-van while he was driving down the highway. 2. My first book was published when I was eighteen. 3. My mother taught both Bruce Lee and Ted Bundy. 1. Working in a professional design shop has destroyed my creativity. 2. I had sex at a public tennis club yesterday. 3. Between the ages of 14-16, I was a homeless crack/cocaine addict. 1. I've lived in NYC, Denver, London and Moscow 2. While out clubbing one evening, I chatted with and smoked pot with Milla Jovovich. 3. I've never told a lie. 1. I used to be a drug dealer and abuser 2. I modelled for Calvin Klein 3. I hate salad 1. I have a tattoo of a barcode with my birthday as the numbers 2. I sang 'Billie Jean is not my Lover' by myself at a polish karakoe bar while toruing eastern europe. 3. I got fired as an extra in 'Big trouble in little china' starring Kurt Rusell 1. I've secretly wished the world to be at chaos 2. Because i wanted to save the world 3. I think im a genius in math, can calculate 3 + 4 in 10 secs flat! 1. I once made 5 graffiti pieces (paintings) in one night. 2. I have so bad dental hygiene that I have to pull two molars that are rotten through. 3. I have a childhood drawing made by Jack Nicholson on my wall. 1. i almost slapped the dutch crownprince in the face with my skateboard 2. i shook hands with ice T 3. i slapped ice T in the face with my skateboard 1. I was born with a third nipple. 2. I masturbated 23 times in one day once. 3. I punched out an astronaut once. 1. I'm a pro rollerblader. 2. I don't own a pair of skates. 3. My hips are out of place. 1. I played the cowbell in a band called "Black Sperm" 2. I played drums in a band called "No Heavy Petting" 3. I played bass in a band called "The Megaton Turn Project" 1. Shirley Manson (of Garbage) greeted me in '98 (in Finland) with a very cold hand and a hungover smile. 2. When I was 9 I accidentally said "fuck you" to my teacher. 3. My dad likes red pepper. 1. I was the youngest employee of IBM Belgium. 2. I was the youngest employee of SUN Belgium. 3. I was the youngest employee of Microsoft Belgium. 1. I have worked at McDonalds. 2. I cook alot. 3. I'm inhibited. 1. I secretly hope to change the world someday 2. David Mamet had the Tetris high score on my laptop 3. I am 6 feet tall 1. I was born exactly at midnight. 2. I wear paperclips instead of earings. 3. I graduated from art school. 1. I once went streaking 2. I was on The Price is Right 3. I went to school with Val Kilmer and Kevin Spacy 1. I traveled all over the world (including Saudi Arabia, Germany, China, Colombia, and Thailand) before I turned four. 2.I am allergic to tangerines, and everytime I even smell one my tounge swells to twice its normal size. 3.My first time ingesting LSD, I tried to go home and forgot where my house was. 1. I dyed my hair with Sharklberry Fin Kool-Aid in running season 2. I used to have an afro 3. I skateboarded the LA marathon (Trying to cheer on my too-fast girlfriend) 1. I once gave head to a fellow student I tutored in college who is now a professional baseball pitcher. 2. The first guy I ever fell in love with promptly moved in with a married woman to take care of her son while he lusts after her and hides the fact from her and her husband. 3. I managed to keep a 4.0 in college while getting drunk every other night and sleeping with my best friend's boyfriend. 1. I've had sex on a school bus. 2. I detest visiting foreign countries. 3. I have wrecked every new car I've driven, except for two. 1. I once danced with Allen Ginsberg listening to a very bad industrial/goth band at St. Marks Church in NYC. 2. Once trapped in Walgreens for three hours whilst appropriately buying russian bombshell red nail polish during a man's threat to blow the place up with his coke can. 3. Once kicked out of Chile for being accused of trafficking drugs and accidentally having sex on government property. 1. On 2 separate occasions I have been on sites that were blown up minutes later by the IRA in London. 2. I have never driven a car. 3. I enjoy shouting at English men, after they have visited the men's room "You didn't wash your hands, mate!" 1. I have a tattoo that says "technology is god". 2. I cry whenever I watch The Santa Clause (with Tim Allen). 3. I haven't had sex in a year. 1. I once burglarized an ice-cream stand in England. 2. I was the first 'civilian' to see Gary Moeller after he was fired as U-M football coach. 3. On a dare, I jumped over a guard rail on a pitch-black night when I had no idea what was on the other side. 1. I have danced with a prince to a prince song. 2. I have dreams about failing algebra. 3. I like to sing in the car. 1. I was born with 2 extra pairs of front teeth and, upon their discovery at age 13, they were surgically removed. 2. At age 17, I endured 6 hours of dental surgery to remove 8 teeth all at once. 3. I cried during my vasectomy. 1. I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue. 2. I'm a natural blonde 3. I can pick up coins with my toes. 1. I quit playing violin when i was 3 because i preferred getting smacked to practising. 2. I have no tonsil. 3. I had my ears pierced by my 19th birthday becuase a friend of mine promised to give me pearl ear rings as my birthday gift. 1. I like cheese 2. I was born in China 3. My wife hates my spaghetti 1. I have a picture of my Dad and Ralp Malph from "Happy Days" 2. I have a picture of my grandfather and the Duke of Windsor 3. I have a picture of my brother and Mason Reese 1. there were only 29 people in my graduating high school class, 7 of which were pregnant or already had kids. 2. i ran a marathon last year. 3. my favorite color is green. 1. I have a huge crush on my government teacher at the moment......who wouldn't with his ass! 2. I have six toes on my left foot and a third nipple 3. I love internet porn 1. wil wheaton hates me 2. i have not been to europe. really. 3. i held the door for samuel l. jackson once, and he did not say thank you. 1. I'm banned for life from one of our towns two gay bars. 2. I was attacked by a Jehovah's Witness. 3. My sister joined a traveling carnival. 1. i never wear underwear to school. 2. the tattoo on my foot says "live radiantly" 3. i've been swimming with whales 1. I wrote a book 5 years ago and never told anyone about it. 2. I never read a novel that was required in high school--CliffNotes were my best friend. 3. I left my boyfriend because he was Lutheran and wanted me to convert. 1. I have never been on an airplane of any sort, nor have I ever set foot in/near an airport. 2. I unwittingly co-wrote "Drug Buddy" by The Lemonheads. 3. I consider my spiritual advisor to be a Chassidic Jew I met at a Tool concert who both sells mobile homes and internet pornography. 1. I have been naked in front of strangers on more than one occasion 2. I ate 5 king sized chocolate bars in one day 3. I have never met anyone famous 1. Several famous actors, (Tom Hanks, his BROTHER, the man who was the voice of the Taco Bell dog, and several others) know who I am and often ask my uncle how I've been doing since the last time they talked. 2. I am bi-polar, ADHD, have borderline personality disorder, borderline mood disorder, and I have never done any drugs. 3. I was once a runway model for Gucci. 1. I once met George C. Scott and Hector Elizondo when they were filming a TV movie across the street from a friends house. 2. I speak four different languages. 3. I broke up with a girlfriend of six months because she talked too much. 1. I lost my virginity at 17 to someone 23 years older than me 2. I lost my virginity to my high school sophomore chemistry teacher. 3. Upon exiting an N'Sync concert in California over Spring break, I was stopped by a woman, taken back stage, and ended up blowing JC Chasez. 1. I am in love with anthony hopkins. 2. I have seen a fish called wanda over 10,000 times. 3. I was the inspiration for Samurai Jack. 1. I have a bi-polar disorder. 2. I sit in a 8X10 closet every evening. 3. Dead animals visit me. 1. Yehudi Menhuin once invited me to a restaurant. 2. On separate occasions, I have had my picture taken with Robert Heinlein, Arthur C. Clarke, and Isaac Asimov. 3. As a teenager I starred in a now-obscure movie featuring animated kokeshi dolls. 1. If I concentrate I can still flip pennies from my elbow to the hand on the same arm. 2. When I was three my uncle started a clown-burning festival with a grant from the lottery and I was in the paper with the first match. Clowns always made me cry but that day I learnt compassion and the thrill of arson. 3. Today I'm not wearing underwear. 1. I go cowtipping at least once a year. 2. I was on MTV's VJ For A Day once. 3. Once at a concert my two friends and I got asked backstage by one of the drunken opening acts in an attempt to get the other opening acts laid. 1. My uncle is a baron. 2. My ancestor is Queen Anne Bolyn. 3. I have a title too. 1. My boyfriend is 10 years my elder. 2. I'm good friends with Kevin Sorbo (Hercules). 3. My boyfriend's family is apart of the mob. 1. I was in a train wreck with my family because my mother was afraid to fly. 2. I was on a local TV special when I was 15 talking about space travel and the future. 3. Eddie Mekka failed to teach me how to dance during a summer theater workshop. 1. I once helped Mayim Bialik (Blossom) with her physics homework. 2. I've seen--and handled--a one-headed, two-bodied (... and dead) fetus. 3. One of the New Kids on the Block wanted to date me. 1. I once had a best friend who was a sea lion. 2. I have a Danish father, whom I've never met. 3. I always arrive at work on time. 1. I wrote a musical for my 6th grade class, and we performed it. 2. I collect toy tow trucks. 3. I attended 17 different public schools between kindergarden and graduation from high school. 1. I have met eight Nobel laureates. 2. I have eaten raw horse meat. 3. I am descended from Polish royalty. 1. If you play connect-the-dots with the birthmarks on my face, you can spell my initials. 2. I've spoken from the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives. 3. I inspired a novel. 1. Been shot in the head. 2. I got three speeding tickets in three consecutive days. 3. I am a test-tube baby. 1. I sold Woody Harrelson a dime bag one time 2. I was kicked out of high school 3. I was an eagle scout 1. When I was born, my mom thought I had Down's Syndrome 2. I've had sex, but never recieved a blow-job. 3. I don't think that's weird. 1. I ate a cockroach when I was eighteen for protein. 2. I can only grow hair between my eyes- no eyebrows. 3. I rolled under a moving train on a dare. 1. There was a warrant out for my arrest. 2. I'm conidering getting a tatoo on my hip. 3. I've dated 5 Eagle scouts. 1. My father is suffering from Lou Gehrig's Disease and Prostate Cancer at the same time. 2. I lost my soulmate, then 29 years old, to Lou Gehrig's Disease last July. 3. We sold our house. 1. My sister was the first girl to ever wrestle at the varsity high school level in our state. 2. My father is Dick Cheney's second cousin. We were invited to the inaugural ball, but didn't attend. 3. My mother went to college with the actor who played "Face" on the A-Team. She thought he was fat and not very cute. 1. I shaved my head when my grandfather died of cancer and then kept it shaved for four years after that because I liked it so much. 2. I have had 3 songs written and recorded about me by two different artists. 3. I can not remember 3 months of my life. 1. I was once jumped by Secret Service agents when I was 8 as I went to shake Gerald Ford's hand at a chili cookoff in Lake Tahoe, CA. 2. I broke a kids arm when I was in Kindergarten for ripping my new jacket. 3. I am hopelessly addicted to Ovaltine. 1. I was a student judge for the Peabody Awards. 2. I've hiked the entire Appalachian Trail. 3. I once sat on Vincent Gardenia's lap. 1. My dad once microwaved a sponge and caught it on fire. (he was trying to kill the germs...) 2. When I was 9 years old, I got pissed off at a concert and spit a peice of candy across the auditorium, hitting some man in the back of the head. 3. I am terrified of the man in the moon 1. There has been a piece of glass embedded in my foot for more than 2 years. 2. A cop caught me having sex in a parking lot once. When he asked the guy I was with what my name was, he blanked. 3. I once cut a friends hair off while she slept because she made fun of my toothbrush. 1. I lived off of McDonalds milkshakes for two weeks straight. 2. I have shot myself in the chest, point blank. 3. I went to the same elementary school as Kevin Kline (though not at the same time). 1. I grabbed Robbie Williams's crotch by accident when he was crowdsurfing during one of his gigs 3 years ago. 2. I am Imelda Marcos's 4th cousin twice removed. 3. I took a guy to prom that I met off the internet and had never met in real life before. He was from England and flew in just to go. 1. my piercings are self-made 2. i bite my finger nails 3. and i like it 1. In my poor student days, I wore cutoffs so short that the family jewels were occasionally known to hang out in plain sight. 2. A woman once committed suicide by jumping off my highrise dorm and landed outside my ground-floor window while I was eating lunch. 3. I'm really big in Japan. 1. When I was 3 I sat down on a moving escalator and never stood up resulting in a hospital visit. 2. I wore braces for 5 years. 3. I was in a Penny's commercial when I was 6. 1. i got kicked out of my dorm in college for plugging too many electricity cords into the outlets in my room. 2. i once drove to another state to spy on my husband's ex-girlfriend just so i could see what she was wearing. 3. i once had someone arrested for telling me she was going to "whoop my ass." 1. My ex-wife has had a sex change and is now "Henry" 2. I once played a wife beating northerner in the play "no mans land" 3. I have a tattoo of a dragon on my right shoulder. 1. I dressed up as Wonder Women for Halloween when I was 5. 2. I have sky dived naked. 3. I watch TV for the ads 1. I sang in a concert at Lincoln Center. 2. I have a tattoo that says Web Goddess. 3. I once hugged author Madeleine L'Engle. 1. i have the group "right said fred's" autographs. 2. i had a life saving heart operation at the age of 3. 3. i went bungee jumping off of a bridge in Alabama when I was 17. 1. I had a boyfriend break up with me for a TV star from "Step by Step." 2. I got in an argument once over why Pumpkins were a better fruit than tomatoes. Sadly it ended in a drunken fright and an arrest. 3. I would rather let spiders crawl on me then SEE a centipede or a millipede... even just a picture. 1. I once made a friend cry when I told her she didn't have "hey there hair." 2. Geraldo Rivera tried to pick up a friend of mine in a bar in Tallahassee. 3. I have a tattoo on an intimate part of my anatomy. 1. I was recruited by Johns Hopkins child genius program at age 9, but got kicked out for being a behavior problem. 2. I have been married 3 times, but divorced only once. 3. I was once an extra on the tv show "Simon and Simon". 1. Social Distortion played in my living room. 2. My dad knits. 3. My mom races cars. 1. I have flown a C-130 cargo plane. 2. I have been in King Tutankhamen's tomb. 3. I have a third nipple. 1. I've had exactly one job. 2. I've had exactly one graduation. 3. I've had exactly one girlfriend. 1. I saved my brother's life when I was 7. 2. Fred Schneider of the B-52's threw a baby shower in my honor. 3. I've had an orgy. 1. Last week I had sex with three women at once. 2. I once got busy in the park in broad daylight. 3. I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom. 1. I once interviewed actor Frank Wood (Royal Tenenbaums). 2. My boyfriend and I have had sex in 12 bathrooms across campus, and one professor's office. 3. If I was a fruit, I'd be a strawberry. *bounce* Two Truths and a Lie: 1. I spent eight years in boarding school, and the highlight of my tenure there was the day I came home crying from school in sixth grade because a boy made fun of me for having a fake Fendi purse. 2. One of my sorority sisters was so upset at the Women's Studies professor who gave her a B and wrecked her perfect 4.0 right before the Harvard Law school application deadline, she made some pledges steal a bunch of astroglide from the lesbian bookstore and leave it in front of her office in a cardboard box with a note that read, "F-REPLACE-WITH-AT-*&% you too, clambanger." 3. After my junior prom, my date propositioned me for sex with the words, "Hey, babe, how 'bout some nookie?" 1. My sister was on Jerry Springer. 2. I've seen Barry Manilow and Neil Diamond in concert. 3. I come from a very wealthy family. 1. I once inadvertently flashed my Math teacher. 2. I got dumped on Valentine's Day. 3. I have appeared in the paper. 1. One semester during college, I completely stopped going to classes after the first week and flunked out. A friend found the letter telling me not to come back, and opened and read it outloud in front of a few more of my friends. 2. When I was in high school, I worked at the Toys 'R Us in Westport (ritzy area of CT, Martha Stewart and Dave Letterman both live in the area), a player for the New York Mets came in and started playing ball with random kids in the baseball aisle. I had no idea who he was. 3. I lost my virginity on my front porch when I was 15. My parents were inside watching TV, less and 10 feet away. My mother was sitting right by the open window. 1. In two separate improv shows, I have stripped down to my berfday suit. 2. I have smoked duct tape. 3. I threw one of my high-school classmates through a plate glass window -- he missed death by about three inches. 1. i once peed next to Sam Kinison 2. my genital area is surrounded with a large birthmark, like a halo. 3. i have broken both of my collarbones multiple times 1.My brother is a porn star. 2.I met my boyfriend while shooting a spitball at Dan Quayle. 3.I was wanted by the police for a brief moment in time 1. I was almost expelled from my private school in my senior year. 2. An airline pilot buddy invited me to the cockpit on an international flight and let me control the plane briefly. 3. I once walked through a blinding snowstorm to fool around with some girl I met on a ski trip. I hold tickets to 2 theaters for the 12:01 showing of Episode 2. I had a string of heavenesque dreams that related to the game Toejam and Earl. I forgave her. 1. I once made a friend cry and hide under the porch for two hours while we all searched for her because I made fun of her shoes 2. My old roommate made my girlfriend cry by telling long boring Kroger stories everyday after work 3. I met my wife by following her home after seeing her at a redlight 1. Pauly Shore chased my friend around a record store for 10 minutes while she screamed and ran away. 2. I am an excellent fencer 3. I have never actually quit a job, I just stop showing up 1. After being fired from a job in a grocery store, I secretly inserted a mouse in a cereal box (at said store) to surprise an unsuspecting old lady and screw with management. 2. My aunt is an author of biographies and mystery tours. 3. My dad was once offered a job at Playboy. 1. I know and can sing 100 different lullabies. 2. I've done laundry in 47 states. 3. My parents can receive mail with just their first name and zip code on it, because they live in a very rural area. 1. I met the Fugees once and told them, "Y'all are cool like dat... n'shit". 2. My band has played to a crowd of 10,000 people. 3. My cousin was one of the kids recruited to download MP3's for the Grammys TV broadcast. 1. I was asked not to participate in High School graduation ceremonies because my hair was dyed bright red. 2. I was asked to appear in a Lego commercial at the age of two. 3. Last year, a humorous article about me appeared in the New York Observer. 1. I met Lorne Greene when I was 12. 2. I have an asparagus collection. 3. I've tested "unusually high" on more than one pre-cognitive study. 1. I once threw a book at a coworkers head (and hit him). 2. I once swam in the reflecting pool of the First church of Christ Scientists in Boston. 3. Puked in an ashtray in the Higgins Armory. 3 3. 1. I once dated a guy that his face has been eating by a monkey while working at the zoo. 2. i fell off my friend's motorbike coz he hited A SHEEP in the middle of the road. 3. when i was in the army i've been sented to France to deliver GAS MASKS. 1. 22 years and never a cavity. 2. I met harry winkler (the fonz) at Urban Outfitters in L.A. 3. I willingly lost my virginity at the age of 14 on a bet. 1. I was once in the NASA Astronaut Training Program 2. I once had a chance at a pro hockey career 3. I am a MAGNET for all psycho women on the planet. I was scudded by Saddam Hussein, and am still angry on how he disrupted my life. I have been dragged out of a car by Colombian police at gunpoint; and it was my own fault. I am as tall as I always wanted to be. 1. As a baby, I was held by Walter Mondale at a Carter/Mondale Campaign stop. 2. I only dream in black and white. 3. I have never worn a hairnet for a job. 1. I met actor Jason Lee 15 years ago when he was only a Pro Skateboarder for Tony Hawk's Tour 2. I live in Orange County and have been inside Noodle's from Offspring house 3. Nancy Sinatra always invited me to their house cause Frank thought I was funny. 1. I have trapped my friends to an elevator for a 20 minutes. 2. I have coincidentally prevented a grocery store to catch fire. 3. I have wrestled with a bear and I won. 1. i got paid for scraping manure out of a barn 2. i've jumped out of 2 airplanes 3. i can run a marathon in under 3 hours 1. I've owned 3 Porsche's 2. I've met Mario Andretti 3. I drive race cars 1. I climbed the Sydney Harbour Bridge. 2. I was shot at during a coup attempt of the Philippine government in November 1989 when I was in the Navy. 3. My brother in law answers the phone in the voice of Scooby Doo. 1. Participates in cow chip throwing contests annually. 2. Wrestled Stevie Richards from WWE. 3. Slept in Chicago Fire Department sleeping quarters overnight. 1. I driven on the Indianapolis Speedway 2. I broke my hip because I didn't tie my shoelaces 3. Despite having a brother and a sister, I'm an only child. 1. i dont know what to do since i've recently graduated 2. i respect my coworkers 3. i like guys 1. i once knocked on the door of the local convent to tell the nuns they were wrong. 2. football players threw garbage and barked at me in high school. 3. i stood on the edge and i jumped and i lived. 1. The FBI cleared me for the handling of "Top Secret" documents 2. I've slept is all 50 states 3. I was "Randall" on All My Children 1.I have a crush on the father in the "Sound of Music" 2. I am allergic to peanut m&m's 3.I play the cowbell in a band, just so I can be in one. 1. Walter Matthau mentioned my husband in his Lifetime Achievement speech. 2. When I was growing up, I truly believed JFK Jr. and I would get married. 3. I have a friend who dated Tom Hanks in college and dumped him. 1. I taught Gabby Hoffman to waterski. 2. A rocking horse has hickory nuts. 3. Ms. Bazima has a sneaker for me. 1. I have inverted nipples. 2. I met Nicholas Cage in a bar in 1991 and can attest to the fact that he has had tons of "work" done. 3. I have a soft spot in my heart for Barry Manilow's earlier bathhouse arrangements. 1. I consider Bulgarian kaval player Theodossii Spassov a brilliant musician. 2. I am still annoyed because I lost a spelling bee in grade school because a nun pronounced the word "advertisement" in a non-standard way. 3. I find the smell of meat on a grill nauseating. 1. I wen't on a date with James Joyces' grandson. 2. I ran naked down a street in London in January. 3. I performed "Cause I'm a Blonde" in my jr. high talent show while wearing a huge wig. 1.most of my male lovers have been scorpios. 2.when i was 13years old,I once set fire to the basement ,by pouring gasoline on a rag torch, and lighting it. 3. I know isabella...from the isabellacam site , she's my next door neighbor. 1. I design tattoos. 2. I was a friend of Mother Theresa of Calcutta. 3. Brian Setzer (stray cats- 1980's) has met my family and asked me to go with him to Nashville... I turned down his offer 1. I've "seen" Pluto (the planet...not the dog) 2. Kevin Bacon is like a brother 3. I'm lying 1. my navel was pierced for free after i drank five bourbon-and-cokes at a live body-piercing demonstration in a bar. 2. i got glasses when i was three. before then, nurses thought i might be blind. 3. i was once so addicted to nicotine that i would sometimes smoke two cigarettes at once. 1. I've met Itzhak Perlman. 2. I was 28 when I lost my virginity. 3. I have an FBI file. 1. When I was 23, I snorted crank off the toilet tank every day at my job at Whole Earth Access (a hippie department store). I was fired shortly thereafter, for unrelated reasons. 2. I once had sex with a boyfriend at Happy Hollow, a children's amusement park in San Jose. 3. Chris Isaak grabbed my boob in an SF dive bar about ten years ago and then offered to "show me how to surf." 1. My parents live right down the road from Axl Rose's parents. 2. I had a sixth toe on my right foot when i was born that had to be cut off. 3. I am terrible at math. 1. As a child, I thought we all lived inside the Earth. 2. I have a huge phobia of spiders and refuse to eat gummy snacks which visually resemble them. 3. I'm just barely 5'3" and can not see the top of the fridge. 1. My first job after college was as a department store Santa Claus 2. My next job was as a nucular (that's nuc-U-lar) safety inspector at a plant situated in a place called Springfields 3. I wear the same size clothes now as I did twenty five years ago. 1. I was in a Charles Gatewood documentary when I was 15. 2. Some people think I'm impossibly sincere. 3. I'm afraid, all the time. 1. I lived in 16 cities in seven countries in the last five years. 2. I don't know what place to call home. 3. I can remember my own telephone number. 1. Everybody I know in OC says they either know a member of No Doubt or The Offspring, and they're probably lying. 2. At a club once, a man said, come outside to my camper and I'll show you my monkey. He wasn't kidding. I held the monkey. (That was the second time I've held a monkey.) 3. I played the lead in Oklahoma! in 8th grade. 1. I ate rotten peach on a dare. 2. I had my first real kiss outside the front doors of a catholic church. 3. I threw up in the presence of a "star." 1. I can touch the tip of my nose with my tongue 2. I started dating my ex-boyfriend after I finished with his brother 3. I was twice a backstage guest to a Curtis Stigers concert 1. I was nominated for homecoming queen, but was expelled from the competition. 2. I took 3 years of Croatian dance lessons when I was a child. 3. My dog, Binkus, sleeps on my head. 1. i had sex in a Kmart Portrait Studio 2. i was so nervous meeting debbie harry that i said 'hi robert.' 3. i've made a substantial profit painting pictures of corn. 1. I have a tat of Calvin and Hobbes racing downhill in a little red wagon. 2. I beat up Heather Locklear in a gang fight. 3. As a young girl, I saw " The King And I " in London, starring Yul Brynner. 1. I have a tattoo that says "Life Is Pain" 2. I draw comics to give me the illussion that I am doing something with my life. 3. I slept with my girlfriend's bestfriend's little sister 1. I once crashed on the floor of a friend's house along with all the members of the band U2. 2. One of my cousins was briefly married to one of the most notorious serial killers in US history. 3. I've been known to shag boys as well as girls. 1. As a child, I got my leg caught in a revolving door in the Capital Building in Washington, D.C. 2. I have kissed the Blarney stone. 3. I once rode a bicycle over 50 mph. 1. I am a gay 2. I was a gay 3. I will be a gay 1. I was paralyzed from the waist down for a week. 2. I once appeared on Sesame Street. 3. I have no middle name. 1. i refused to use the postal service for 12 years of my life. 2. dave coulier is my fourth cousin. 3. most of my sexual experiences have taken place on the floor of my local independent record store. 1. I shaved my hair off in college because I was a punkette and bored. 2. I've met Prince Edward. He was cute and nice. 3. To date, I've dated three men named Michael in the whole of my dating history. 1. I like cheese 2. I'm crappy at everything I do 3. I'm getting laid off and am going to kill myself 4. I'm a self-pitying turdpile [ed note. 5. You can't count] 1. Allen Ginsberg once hugged me tightly and told me that "I was a delight to the senses." 2. Bill Clinton was interested in what I had to say about Monica Lewinsky. 3. I ate out Scott Coors. 1. When I was 6, I was in a coma for 2 weeks after a major head injury. 2. I once got lost in a K-Mart overnight after falling asleep in a kiddie bed. 3. I once got stuck in an elevator with Joe DiMaggio for 20 minutes, but didn't know it was him until we were freed. 1. Ethel Red the Unready - a viking - is my ancestor. 2. I took gay porn shots of my Vinnie and Fonzie dolls. 3. I spent one summer of high school doing promotional tours as a Keebler Elf. 1. I have appeared totally naked on stage. 2. I snorted coke off the cleavage of the wife of an Indy500 winner. 3. I stuck my hand up a puppet's ass for a children's television show as the host's sidekick. 1. I was kissed on the lips by Mr. T. 2. I can deliberately make milk come out my nose (when I drink milk, that is.) 3. I walked around with a sewing needle embedded in my right foot for fourteen years. 1. I got banned for life from my favourite pub because the bus boy is scared of me. 2. I used to think it was cool to have blinking text on my web page. 3. My childhood babysitter was a transvestite. 1. I was fired from my second job for parking on the wrong side of the parking lot (west instead of east). 2. I once (accidentally) knocked a woman down at a Jim Hightower book signing. 3. I held hands with and hit on (despite my more or less exclusive attraction to males) a girl at the Branch Davidian compound. 1. Jestem z Polski 2. Ogladalem dzisiaj "zielona mile" 3. Jechalem do pracy 2 min. rowerem 1. I napped in Fuji's black ash. 2. I sailed Pharaoh's Nile on a felucca. 3. I crumbled a cold, earthy handful of Falkland peat. 1. I like to sing higher than anyone else 2. I was a cheerleader in highschool 3. I was interviewed by the Japanese press 1. I roll my own tampons 2. I lactate without being pregnant 3. My real name is Jennifer 1. I am an ordained minister. 2. I have a four year-old son who lives in Seattle. 3. I met Pat Buchanan once; he's an even bigger jerk in person. 1. I have a freckle on my left earlobe. 2. I have a freckle on the palm of my left hand. 3. I have a freckle on my left big toe. 1. I have 4 first names. 2. I cry myself to sleep a lot. 3. I was one of 126 people to see the pre-release version of windows 95 the first time it was ever demonstrated after completion 1. I have a birthmark on my leg that looks just like Australia. 2. My mom used to be a nun. 3. I cannot stand the taste of peanut butter. 1. I was escorted out of a super market for poking the bread 2. I own a latex dress and high heels 3. I haven't seen my blood-family in over a year, on purpose. 1. The following statement is true. 2. The preceding statement was false. 3. First one takes the last one's place. I. My real journal, if reffering to itself, is labelled as a 'post'. II. I visit the online job bank 3 times day to make sure I haven't missed any stupendous job calling out for me and me only. III. I hate Roman numerals. 1. I am scared of heights. 2. I once quit my job 'cause I was asked to climb a twenty foot ladder. 3. I am stoned right now. 1. My grandfather stopped Niagara Falls. 2. My great Aunt is the Mayor of Niagara Falls. 3. I've gone over Niagara Falls in a barrel. 1. I flunked Geography in high school. 2. On purpose. 3. If my IQ were expressed in degrees Fahrenheit, it would boil water. 1. I hate clowns. 2. I love clowns. 3. I ate a plate of locusts in school. 1. My great great great aunt was tried and killed as a witch. 2. I have no uvula 4. I have a hard time counting. 1. I'm Spider-Man. 2. I bowl with friends at 3 in the morning. 3. I dated my girlfriend's sister. 1. The day after my 21st b'day I fell on my chin and broke 10 teeth. (If you look close you can kinda see the scar.) 2. In L.A. I had my picture taken with the Olsen twins. 3. When I was a kid I got my hand stuck in my Nintendo and had to break it apart to get it off. 1. I dated identical twins. 2. I don't have my drivers license because I ran over someone in the parking lot when taking my test. 3. I have 8 piercings. 1. I have a phobia of stopped escalators. 2. As a child I drank my own urine once, by mistake. 3. I've never told #2 to anyone in my life. Out of the closet here I come! 1. I am a wannabe astronomer. 2. My dad and I were once banned from a Toyota dealership for laughing at the salesmen. 3. Ferrari is the greatest F1 team ever. 1. I hate crossing streets. 2. I am actually really terrified of insects. 3. I love carrots. 1. I am closer in age to my nephew than I am to my brother 2. My left ear was a perfect half-heart shape when I was born 3. I am often mistaken for snow white 1. I awoke and opened my eyes 2. I felt my heart beat 3. I thank GOD for being 1. My older brother has been in Nike commercials. 2. I can be seen in the Britney Spears video "I'm a Slave For You" 3. My tat is located south of my chin but, north of my toes! 1. i've had sex in a stopped elevator 2. i aspire one day to be a cinematographer in hollywood 3. i'm fullfilled my childhood dream to stop going to school after highschool for one year to travel 1. I am a descendent of a famous Chinese poet. 2. I knew my alphabets at the age of 8 months. 3. I own a dildo. 1. I've seen Paris... 2. I've seen France... 3. I see <username>'s underpants. 1: I have broken both of my wrists and my right big toe. 2: I went to school with the pop star Moby. 3: I married for money. 1. I am the Rhode Island Gold Panning Champion for '75 and '76 2. John Cleese sat in the back of my cab 6 years ago. 3. I got James Taylor's autograph while he was in the shower at a Japanese massage spa. 1. I once caused a girl to join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, just by dating her. 2. I find women with boyfriends inherently uninteresting. Something about the dependence, I suppose. 3. I once had my head shaved by a Buddhist folk singer, onstage, in front of a live audience 1. Tommy Chong bit me. 2. I have seven tattoos. 3. I had the chicken pox three times. 1. When I was an infant, I was not expected to live. 2. I am one of the youngest Irish people to have broken the sound barrier (Paris-New York, Concorde, 1993, aged 15). 3. My mother was a classmate of the current President of Ireland. 1. Jodie Foster's mom hit on me 2. I caught on fire making tea (too much Snuggle softener, apparently) 3. I am a virgin 1. I can wiggle my ears. 2. I took two semesters of sign language and can fluently sign every sex sign known to man. 3. I earned a gold medal for "fastest-talking piglatin speaker" in the 7th grade. 1. i have a tattoo just above my ass that says "lucky you" 2. nipsey russell said hi to me once 3. i had a song written for me about my vagina 1. I've had sex in a church (catholic). 2. I was blind as a child. 3. My ex dumped for for a recovering pornstar. 1. I was a high school youth minister in college. 2. I met Drew Bledsoe in San Diego once and thought it sounded like a good name for my first born son. 3. I never wore neon clothing in high school. Ever. Which is good because that might have been embarrasing. 1. I can do a great impression of Bob "Bobcat" Goldthwait and an even greater impression of a bicycle horn. 2. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21. 3. I absolutely love the taste of bittermelon. 1. I have written and recorded a song about my penis. 2. I once sat next to novelist John Irving on a flight to New York. 3. I was once part of the live television audience at the Grand Ole Opry and fell asleep on camera. 1. i don't know why i do the things i love 2. i have in the past had a blue half/hawk 3. i once dated a girl who looked like she was someone from that thing... 1. I eat the peels of lemons, limes and oranges. 2. I once burned down my neighbor's house with a bottle rocket on July 3rd. 3. Mark Cuban personally FedExed me 2 playoff tickets for Game 5 of the Mavericks/Jazz first-round series last year after I emailed him saying I was a poor college student. 1. birds are dirty animals 2. not all clowns are scary 3. I don't like jogging 1. Once while skiing, I took out a group of small children waiting in line at the ski lift. 2. When I was in seventh grade, I skipped school one day and accidentally burnt down a barn. 3. A teenage pastime of mine is throwing corn at nearby houses in the middle of the night. 1. James Brown once told me I was "beautiful, baby" 2. I have three nipples. 3. I've peed alongside Britney Spears. 1. James Brown once told me I was "beautiful, baby" 2. I have three nipples. 3. I've peed alonside Britney Spears. 1. I worked on Carrot Top's website. 2. I work on Britney Spears' website. 3. I'm working on Siegfried & Roy's website. 1. My belly button is pierced. 2. I used to have a fear of eating. 3. I didn't know my real father until I was 7. 1. I once dated a man who claimed to be in the IRA. 2. I am giving my husband a tattoo for our anniversary. 3. My father bought his first car for an ounce of hash. 1. My uncle won a gold medal for basketball in the Olympics. 2. I once told Pauly Shore I loved him. 3. I crossed Abbey Road when I was in England. 1. My cat will be on the Canadian national news tonight. 2. I went to school with Heather for one year. 3. I have an ear ring. 1. I'm hung like a horse. 2. I leaped out of my moving car with my ex-girlfriend in it. 3. I've got a pet lobster named Pinchy. 1. I don't know how to spell my middle name. 2. I've met Ozzy & Marilyn Manson 3. I have a BFA from The Art Institute of Chicago 1. I have three nipples 2. I have never had a yeast infection 3. I have index fingers that are shorter than my ring fingers, thus indicating that I am a lesbian. 1. I was the US Navy's official liason officer to Albania. 2. I helped rescue Air Force Captain Scott O'Grady. 3. I was accused of negligence in the loss of $50,000 of ammunition. 1. I have a tat that says "BadMotherFucker" with flames shooting out the sides. 2. I have one brother who looks and acts like John Travolta, one who looks and acts like Elvis Presley, and one who looks and acts like Jerry Seinfeld. 3. I had a wild fling with Ted Nugent when I was 14 years old. 1. I sang the National Anthem at a Seattle Mariners Game. 2. There are more people that I've refused to date because of their inability to kiss than because of a personality flaw. 3. I can't sleep with my feet under the covers. 1. I once dated a girl who preferred to have sex fully clothed and in public. 2. A dog once licked my head for a full five minutes, and I liked it. 3. Hungarian women are ugly. 1. I have a tattoo of two celtic runes. 2. I left my ex-husband because his father commanded me to choose between him and my writing. 3. I loved my in-laws dearly. 1. I visited Paul Auster at his home in NYC 2. I'm going steady with a girl called Hershey 3. I used to live above a French amputee called Freddie 1. I love asparagus. 2. I think, there for I am...sometimes 3. I am afraid to fly. Even going to the airport starts to freak me out. 1. I dated a professional hockey player. 2. I have always wanted to be an Olympian. 3. My mother takes ecstasy. 1. I am often criticized for smiling ALL the time. 2. I was "let go" from my first job because my employer thought i was making fun of him because I wouldn't stop smiling while talking to him. 3. In high school i refused to take computer science because i thought it looked boring. 1. I have had splinters from sex. 2. In the 60s, my mother shacked up with transvestites and prostitutes in Paris. 3. In the 90s, my mother joined a Conservative ladies' association. 1. I am a high school drop out. 2. I own two houses. 3. My first kiss was in the walk-in cooler at the restaurant I worked in as a teenager. 1. I dated a member of the british nobility who asked me to marry him and live in England. 2. One of my tattoos is identical to one of Tank Girl's 3. I have never once considered breat implants 1. My high school math teacher once gazed out the window whilst lecturing and exclaimed "Wow, buses can go in reverse too!". 2. Every morning, I put each of my socks on halfway and then pull them up in unison. 3. I've been known to dip my french fries in mayo and then in ketchup and then in gravy before consuming them. Sometimes, not usually. 1. I had lunch with Robin Williams 2. I have a tattoo in Morse code 3. I dated Jack Kerouac 1. My senior year in high school I skipped classes every friday. 2. In college I accidentally dyed my hair mint green. 3. My first job was being the postergirl for a local milk campaign. 1. At my wedding, the groom left to smoke pot with the maid of honor. 2. I crossed the US/Canada border with contraband. 3. I had sex in a cemetary when I was 17. 1. I was born in the bush. 2. I once lowered my naked lower body through a dark hole so that other people can .... 3. I can speak 5 languages fluently. 1. I had my ear taken off my head and then sewn back on. 2. In 1986 I stood in line (for 8 hours) to get tickets to see Cinderella and Bon Jovi. 3. My first boyfriend cheated on me (twice) with a girl from the Penthouse Forum magazine while his best friend watched. 1. I used to build Nissan Altimas. 2. I quit my last job when they insituted a dress code, beacuse I refuse to wear kahkis and a polo shirt. 3. I am on the verge of graduating from the 6th university I have attended in the past 8 years. 1. i was vegetarian for 11 months and gave up on thanksgiving because i wanted turkey. 2. i have been forever banned from the city of canton, ohio for an incident involving superglue and 10,000 beads. 3. i was briefly involved with a member of the escobar drug family. 1. I was a bass player in a rock band in Jr. High; _Big Balls_ was always well received at school assemblies. 2. I dropped out of college in my second month, and moved in with a boy who presently became addicted to heroin. 3. I got fired from my first job for curling up in a little ball under my desk and crying too often. 1. I have a tattoo of an anchor. 2. Eartha Kitt sat on my lap and purred. 3. My mother dated Jack Kerouac. |
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