When I am Queen III

SUV owners:
It's been brought to our¹ attention that you're under the impression that your "equipment"² is lacking, otherwise, why would you be driving those evil, gas guzzling, behemoths round town risking the safety of your fellow citizens?

We'd like to invite you to visit your local Body Image Evaluation Center at your earliest convenience. Our qualified Body Image Evaluation Practitioner will assure you that it's not about size, but what you do with what you've got. Please note that this is not a "hands on" clinic.

Every SUV owner will have their choice of "The Illustrated Kama Sutra" or the "Complete Idiot's Guide to the Kama Sutra" (our FREE gift to you³) when they voluntarily surrender their vehicle at any one of our certified SUV Recycling Centers.

PT Cruiser owners:
Our scientist are valiantly attempting to solve the riddle of time travel. We hope to return you to the 50s as quickly as possible.