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tuesday, october 31 If I had some sort of time travel device, I'd just tweak that sucker and jump to next Wednesday... That's the eighth of November. One day beyond the impending elections here in the States. It's impossible to turn any which way without encountering some form of advertisement, commentary, diatribe, blurb, critique, dialogue, gossip, spin, broadcast, observation, conversation, rant, criticism, love fest, commercial, objection, palaver, stricture, reviling, chat, propaganda and/or review on the various candidates. They're good, they're bad, they're angels, they're devils, they're all the same, they're very different. Enough! I haven't voted in ten years. It's not because I don't want to. It's because I can't. That's part of the deal of being a Non-Resident Alien. Here's my request. If you can vote, you must. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to tell you who to vote for.... Isn't there enough of that already? Follow your head and your heart. Just do it, baby! Get out and vote.  ![[pause]](img/pause.gif){kind=small} Happy Halloween! Here's a greeting just for you!
Previous costumes may have included a statue (white grease paint everywhere... skin, hair, etc. - took weeks and weeks to erradicate), a clown (I'm a natural!), a mexican (poncho and sombrero), a flapper (one of my mother's fringy dresses), an angel (a real stretch) and Indira Gandhi (post assasination - very poor taste - karmic justice resulted in me teetering over while trying to hop a freight train in front of the Kent Street Guelph party and acquiring a small hairline fracture in my skull - learned my lesson - no more poor taste costumes). Kozmo is delivering Halloween costumes. I was thinking about the Flower Power Costume. What do you think? It may be Halloween, but don't forget to Rabbit rabbit in the morning! Oh, boo hoo! Miss Boo is back! Yesterday? Tips for boys (and girls). "The clearest intelligences faint, seeing the solar system flickering, so tiny in that immense lightness" - Sheba's Gifts To Solomon, The Essential Rumi monday, october 30 Tips for boyfriends, girlfriends, partners, spouses and/or significant others The next time you're are asked... "Do I look fat in this?" Run, don't walk, to the nearest exit. Really! Trust me. It's a lose/lose propositions. If you want to be brave and stand your ground (idiot), well, there is only one thing that you can do. Immediately respond "no!" with as much enthusiasm as you can muster. Let's practice. On the count of three, say no like you mean it. One... two... three! No! Your tone should be just the right mixture of loving humour ("oh honey, how could you think that"), stunned disbelief ("who could ever think that my sweetie baboo was fat!???) and innate cave-person tendencies ("I'll kill the bastard!!!"). You can't hesitate for even a moment. If you do, even ever so slightly, well, you are screwed, your ship has sailed and Elvis has left the building! Don't over do it though. The trick is finding just the right fulcrum on the teeter-totter of believability. Are you appalled? You're asking yourself "what about the rock solid foundation of truth in any relationship?" Let me put it this way, if you are truthful, there might not be any relationship. Do you want to try that again? On the count of three. One... two... three! NO!!! Congratulations to Neale on the wrongwaygoback first birthday spectacular! Oh, I was caught with my pants down! Born. Eat. Shag. Die. The mayfly project "Sum up the last year of your life in twenty words or less." The world is divided into two kinds of people. Those who can appreciate the Antiques Roadshow, and those who don't. Search 'o the day: mums + who + give + their + teens + a + good + spanking (I don't want to know why!) Yesterday? Beach baby... "You have said what your are. I am what I am. Your actions in my head, my head here in my hands with something circling inside I have no name for what circles so perfectly." - The Turn, The Essential Rumi sunday, october 29  Derek flies a kite, Ocean Beach There's something about the beach that is a magic elixir for the soul. Walking along the shore, stopping every now and and then, to pick over the pretty debris tossed onto the sand by the waves is the magic balm and just what I needed late yesterday afternoon. Sometimes you wish that you could just reach out and embrace someone. Sometimes geography makes it impossible. Our deepest condolences for Jeffrey Zeldman. It's early. Really early. My computer remembered the time change, while I didn't. Talk to my computer. It's smarter. "Spring forward. Fall back." I love falling back and hour. Well, with the exception of the fact that for a few days I'll be waking at an even ungodlier hour than usual. You're taking back that hour that Spring steals from you every year. I hope that you made the most of that golden, extra hour. Me? I watched the sun rise. As I had not kept abreast of things, I had failed to note Zannah's reaction or the MetaFilter thread on Body Perks. I'm such a boob! Halycon spotting: Thursday evening. Books Inc. Market Street. Books Inc. have little, clear plastic sleeves with small book reviews tucked into the shelves. Halycon's photograph appears on a pitch for "write a review" at the front of the store in the New Arrival section on the left hand side. It's the fabulous photo from Talk magazine celebrating the Webbys earlier this year. We were very twitterpated! Frightening holiday gift ideas! Just make it a fruitcake. John Cleese = Nearly-Headless Nick Thursday? It's dodie time! "Daylight, full of small dancing particles and the one great turning, our souls are dancing with you, without feet, they dance. Can you see them when I whisper in your ear?" - A Great Wagon, The Essential Rumi thursday, october 26 Feeling perky? "Men love nipples! We hate to sound sexist, but it's true. Just ask any guy. So read on and find out how well bodyperks have worked for others. We think you'll agree that bodyperks are a fun way to compliment the beauty that is already in you."Ack! "The first time I wore them, a handsome man stopped me and declared he was 'ready to give me his paycheck for the rest of his life!' What can I say except thanks! Lorrie, 42, Las Vegas, NV"Ack! Ack! "Every time I wear them, I have an adventure. So whenever the mood strikes me, I put them on for another journey. I love them. Lily, 34, New York City, NY"Ack! Ack! Ack! Body Perks. "Men love them, women envy them" Fake nipples! That's what we are talking about - fake perma-dodies! Wait a minute... Is it true? Do men love nipples? Here I was thinking all along that it was a bigger idea - well, bigger in the more complete sense. You know, boobs! Breasts, bosom, tits, tats, bazookas, etc, etc. I guess, to be fair, it would be more correct to say that some men are breast men. This is where women start to sound like poultry. Breast, leg and thigh. You know the drill. Underneath all this clothing, we women have dotted lines similar to the parts chart one might find at the butchers. Speaking of breasts - October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Click on Yahoo's Pink Ribbon and they'll donate $1.00 to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. Nikolai is a magician. He has many wonderful tricks up his sleeve and "We Didn't Start the Weblogs" is the latest. You know the tune. It's difficult not to sing along! It's not too early to start planning your holiday shopping. Put me down for one of these. I promise that I've been very good. Today's Diet Coke had an expiration date of 010101 - written just like that! Spooky! Yesterday? Potty talk. "But what can stay hidden? Love's secret is always lifting its head out from under the covers, 'Here I am!'" - I Have Five Things To Say, The Essential Rumi wednesday, october 25 Return of potty mouth (so to speak) When you're out and about, on the town and away from home, what do you say when you have to go wee? "Excuse me, where's the restroom?" "Which way is the washroom?" "Is the bathroom this way?" "si vous plaît, Je doit faire pee-pee..." "I'm looking for the WC?" "Ou est la toilette?" "Where's the loo?" So many different ways to say the same thing. Basically what we're dealing with is "I am in great discomfort, and I would appreciate it if you could point out the way to the nearest closeted porcelain object that will receive the object of said discomfort." Maybe I'm a ninny, and it's a cultural thing, but I find myself searching for the appropriate phrasing from time to time. Tell me, what's your pitch for the ditch? Oh, and if you squat to do the above, just sit on the seat, baby. You squatters leave little sprinkles behind which can be a major bummer (no pun intended). There's more bacteria in your kitchen sink than on that toilet. Get over it.  Bryan Medway is FOJM 300. Three hundred! Three-zero-zero! How time flies. It was only a year ago when FOJM began. Thirty-four new photographs bring the current count to 306!Denis, who submitted the first FOJM, has returned with a number of photographs from Fort Dodge to Moscow. Hoihoi submits a lovely photograph with includes the Forbidden City and Michael takes a break from removing asbestos floor tile. New inductees also include Gerda, Derek, BitBoy, Mark, Dennis, Steve, Mirmaid, Bruce, Rachel, Supa, Tom, Sarah, Kaite, Artboy, and Eloy & Valentina. C'mon, baby! Strut your stuff! Due to technical difficulties, some recent posts may not be showing up in the archive and/or some things may be somewhat scrambled. Here's hoping the situation is remedied soon. Merci milles fois for your patience. The day before yesterday? He who laughs... "Spiritual experience is a modest woman who looks lovingly at only one man. It's a great river where ducks live happily, and crows drown." - Put This Design In Your Carpet, The Essential Rumi monday, october 23 "We're not laughing at you, we're laughing with you." Do you actually believe that? Do you actually believe that when someone says "we're not laughing at you, etc," that they aren't having a good chuckle at your expense? What a bunch of hooey. If someone is laughing at you, they are laughing at you. Chuckle, snicker, giggle, laugh, chortle, titter, snigger, crow, cheer, chuckle, or guffaw. It's laughter. You're making an ass of yourself. No need to wrap it up in social niceties and half baked apologies. Course, if you're not making an ass of yourself, you need to find new friends. Judith's memories of white bread (or the lack thereof) bring to mind my childhood desert of desserts. The question "mummy, what's for dessert?" was always responded to with "nice apple!" The apples though weren't as benign as one might have thought. Apple seeds are my personal favourite projectile of the squeeze between the finger jettison at hight velocity variety. It wasn't rocket science, but I never developed any skill at targeting. I'd just pop-em off at random... Course, they would be discovered in all manner of nooks and crannies around the house and boy, was I busted. Other precious childhood seed memories include sitting on the step of the kitchen back door and spitting watermelon seeds over the fence towards the Walker's pool house. A note here about the Pool House. Were not talking Cabana or anything fancy. The Pool House had a former life as the Play House. It was the teeny, tiny blue and pink house which resided in one corner of the backyard. More about the Play/Pool House. I don't know what Jason's talking about - "Did Jane Austen write "Chick Click"? I thought that was Bronte...." Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen. "If there had not been a Chick Click party to prepare for and talk of, the younger Miss Bennets would have been in a pitiable state at this time, for from the day of the invitation, to the day of the party, there was such a succession of rain as prevented their walking to Meryton once."If I'd the time and/or the inclination, well, I'm sure that I could find dozens of literary references to Chick Click. Or, maybe not. I'm fudging just a little. Spell checking will only get you so far. Kite Arial Photography is quite fine! [via MetaFilter] Friday? More Pooh-sonality... "Can you find another market like this? Where, with your one rose you can buy hundres of rose gardens? Where, for one seed you get a whole wilderness?" - The Seed Market, The Essential Rumi friday, october 20 So, here's the deal. Which Winnie the Pooh do you most strongly identify with? And if Winnie-the-Pooh Personality enquiries don't tickle your fancy, try any and all of these. Cyn proffers ColorQuiz. Erica espouses Rate Yourself, Queendom.com's Tests and Emode. Mihir mentions Are you unbreakable? Both Evelyn and James enjoy The Spark's Personality Test. If you don't know yourself by the end of all this, my guess is, that you never will! Stay tuned! Candy Land continues next week... Yesterday? Personality, a plus. "Beauty surrounds us, but ususally we need to be walking in a garden to know it." - Story Water, The Essential Rumi Pooh-sonality! What's with all the pooh-sonality online? Here's Disney's Pooh-sonality Test (I'm Rabbit!) of which I spoke yesterday. It differs from the Winnie-the-Pooh Character Guide Poohsonality Test (I'm Piglet!) or the Pooh-Piglet Psychometric Personality Profiler (I'm Piglet!). [thanks to Nic, Karen, Jeremy and Todd for the links] Two out of three scientific studies confirm my feelings that I am, at heart, Piglet! Ha! And not Rabbit. This whole Winnie the Pooh thing comes from a conversation at the Chick Click party back in Austen. So, if weblogs can be divided into all number of classifications, why not by Winnie the Pooh characters? Winnie-the-Pooh, Christopher Robin, Piglet, Eeyore, Tigger, Owl, Kanga, Roo and Rabbit. Don't they pretty much cover various roles found in group dynamics? We have our Christopher Robins (Jason, Ev and Derek), we have our Tiggers (Brad, Neale, and Crazy Uncle Joe), we have our Owls (Cam), etc. etc. I'm going to quit before I get myself into trouble, but you get the idea. thursday, october 19 This girl is a complete sucker for personality tests. I can't pass up any mention of one, in case the test might just provide with the answer. That should be the answer. The answer to life, the universe and everything. Aside for 42, that is. The latest? Found while catching up with The Gaylery. Which Goddess Are You? It's a fine personality test. A little "thinky" but with the exception of "Which profession most appeals to you?" - Adventure guide or camp leader, Psychotherapist, Restaurant owner or chef/caterer, Head of volunteer organization, Nurse or social worker, Clothing designer, actress/singer, public relations person, or Lawyer or business executive - I didn't have any of those scratch your head moments. So, just what kind of goddess am I? "You scored 41% Persephone. If you exemplify the qualities of Persephone, you have most likely experienced great loss in your life -- the loss of your health or your emotional or physical security, the betrayal of a friend or lover, the loss of a child, your own divorce or that of your parents. This experience has forced you to face the dark, unenlightened side of yourself (the side that blames other people or circumstances for your own suffering) and transform yourself into a stronger, more independent, more accepting and more loving person. It may have also led you down a spiritual path, and moved you to place great emphasis on inner calm and on close connections with friends. You are capable of embracing, integrating and accepting difficult experiences. Because of that skill, you offer others the gift of empathy -- you know where they are or have been."I'd say that's pretty much me in a nutshell. But, don't you just hate it when you run across questions where you don't have an immediate, "yes, that's me!" moment? I mean, these things are scientific! Trained professionals spend countless hours toiling, fine tuning and tweaking these tests to ensure that every aspect of our personality is revealed. One or two non-apparent answer questions can just skew the results. A case in point. I recently took Disney's Poohsonilty test which basically reveals which Winnie the Pooh character you are most like (I'd share the URL but I can't find the ratty thing, nor the blog from which I found it). I will confess that I've had deep admiration for Piglet for quite some time. Much to my horror the test revealed my kinship with Rabbit! "Persnickety and precise" are the two keywords that I haven't been able to expunge from my mind. I'm putting it all down to the answer to the non-apparent questions. It's just can't be true... Do you have a favourite personality test? Please share. Yesterday? Sweet tooth, or more candy! "Don't run around this world looking for a hole to hide in. There are wild beasts in every cave! If you live with mice, the cat claws will find you." - Tending Two Shops, The Essential Rumi wednesday, october 18 Candy Land II - More Sugar How the Game will be played I'll set up the game here chez moi. I'll shuffle the cards well and them place them face down in a pile. The Gingerbread Patrol player pieces will be placed in the starting position. The youngest player will go first and because we're not sitting together all around a table, we'll just proceed up the age range. I'll draw one card from the deck and move your Gingerbread Patrol player piece to the appropriate space on the board and post to the yet to be created harrumph! candy land blog on where you landed! You'll then have a chance to respond and discuss your feelings on the move, etc. I've been thinking about this a little bit more today and I think that we should take it one step further. In addition to the four Gingerbread Men (Red, Yellow, Blue and Green) from the cookie patrol, it would be most appropriate to cast the Candy Land characters as well. Who are they? Well, I'm glad you asked. King Kandy the "Imperial Head Bonbon and Grand Jujube of Candy Land." He's gone missing and it's our mission to find him. Plumpy, The Last Of The Plumpa Trolls, Caretaker of the Gingerbread Plum Trees. It's his job "to gather up all the ripe plums that fall from the trees. But ever since the King's disappearance, Plumpy does more eating than gathering...growing more plump and more glum with every bite of a plum." Mr. Mint, the peppermint Lumber-jack and Keeper of the Royal Peppermint Forest. Mr. Mint "cuts down big red and white peppermint trees into bite-sized whistles and flutes, creating the sweetest-sounding musical instruments ever. 'My peppermint piccolos have been rather off-key ever since the King left'." Jolly, the Official Gumdrop Mountain Greeter. Gramma Nut lives in the Peanut Brittle House. I think she's a bit of a nut! Princess Lolly, daughter of King Kandy, who lives in the Lollipop woods. Her voice is "as light and airy as the fluffiest marshmallows." Lord Licorice has "a heart as hard as rock candy. Always gloomy ever grim, Lord Licorice lives very much alone, except for a few Bitter Chocolate Bats to keep him company." Hmmmm. Who does that remind you of? Queen Frostine lives "peacefully adrift and Ice Cream Float in the Ice Cream Sea." Doesn't sound all that peaceful or comfortable to me. It's not clear whether or not she's King Kandy's Queen. And finally, Gloppy, the kindly Molasses Monster who lives in the Molasses Swamp. He's "more 'goosome' than gruesome..." Feel free to nominate yourself, or someone else for any of these Candy Land characters. Yesterday? Gimme some sugar, baby! "Let the beloved come and sit like a guard dog in front of the tent. When the ocean surges, don't let me just hear it. Let it splash inside my chest." - Put This Design In Your Carpet, The Essential Rumi tuesday, october 17 It's Candy Land, baby! Forget the esoteric games, just give me some sugar. "Something wonderful has happened in Candy Land! Very special friends now live in such favorite places as the Peanut Brittle House, the Gumdrop Mountains, the Molasses Swamp and other sweet spots. So do you want to play Candy Land online with me? I'm going to be blue, but red, yellow and green are up for grabs. Write a little blurb in the comments about which colour piece you'd like and why you want to play. We'll start next week. The boys are back in town! Can someone please explain A List Apart's The Web Is Like Canada to me? I'm missing something. Yesterday? Snips and snails... "There was smoke from the kitchen dust from the feet hitting the floor, and ecstasy from the longing of the dancers. Their hands were waving. Their foreheads swept low across the dias. It had been a long wait for such an occasion." - A Song About A Donkey, The Essential Rumi monday, october 16  Small snail crossing the sidewalk on Clayton early one morning last week. Achingly slow progress staked out by four searching antennae divining a path forward. I worry about snails, and worms, and turtles. I worry about all small creatures who cross our path. We hardly ever see them, let alone note their journey. And more often than not, we're liable to flatten them with our speed of necessity to just keep moving. Moving forward. Straining for something. Something elusive, that is always just beyond the reach of our grasp.  A weekend FOJM update brings the current tally to 272. Eighteen new photographs including the likes of
Dave,
Jason, Lois,
Daniel,
Andrea,
Vojtaz,
Ann,
Jonas,
Carl,
Denise,
Lentil,
Tops, and
Aaron.Can you name that tune? My bet's on Feelings.... You know the words, don't be shy, sing along! Feelings, nothing more than feelings, John Hodgman writes today's Open Letter. "John Hodgman writes about mortality, fearlessness, and being hurled into space." And (if that wasn't enough) hits the front cover over at McSweeney's. Someone has been eating their Wheaties. Good, must reads: Lance, Jeffrey, Derek, Elise, and Judith. More from me. The Webtype.org interview. Yesterday? You be the judge. "We are listeners as well as speakers of this mystery, both of us, but who else will join this strange companionship?" - In Between Stories, The Essential Rumi sunday, october 15 When was the last time you ordered some service which entailed house arrest while waiting for the installation person to show up? Eight AM to twelve or twelve to whenever. What's your pleasure? Starting your day while pacing, not really able to get on with your day? Or perhaps rushing back from something else, something far more interesting to wait, and wait? Six months cold turkey, cable free with only the tepid comfort a pair rabbit ears and continual tweaking, twisting and turning of said rabbit ears. At best, I'd say a handful of channels appeared out of the murky depths of static to render either purple faces or an unwanted multiplicity of cast of characters. I finally broke down and arranged to have cable installed. Being the morning person that I am, I chose the earlier And for the very first time, the installer arrived on the dot of eight. On a Saturday morning. Just in time for Saturday morning cartoons, I guess. Honestly? I could have used a couple more hours in the land of slumber. Those days are gone and now I shall be endlessly entertained by the fifty million channels at my fingertips. I have great hope for this plethora of channels. It's all good. Course, it means that I can most likely watch those judge shows from dawn to dusk. Can someone please tell me when these judge shows became all the rage? Judge Judy I know. She's been a fixture in daytime programming for quite some time. But Curtis Court, Judge Mathis, Judge Mills Lane, Judge Joe Brown, and Judge Hatchett? Who are these people? I've yet to watch Moral Court. "Court cases decided by a moral criterion instead of a legal one." That should be interesting. Who would you take to Moral Court? Friday? sage advice! "Be a connoisseur, and taste with caution. Any wine will get you high. Judge like a king, and choose the purest, the ones unadulterated with fear, or some urgency about 'what's needed.' Drink the wine that moves you as a camel moves when it's being untied, and is just ambling about." - The Many Wines, The Essential Rumi friday, october 13 From the Inbox "Many websites are still trying to attract consumers with the same boring website they had five years ago. When you consider how fast paced and high energy Internet traffic flow is, a stale site is a poor way to expand your client base. WebSitesGraphics.com is now offering a graphic and website re-design package to keep customers coming back, and to ensure a new clientele. Need a new look? Consider a Flash splash page to introduce your website."Wait, there's more... "Spicing up a pre-existing website is great way to assert your commitment to providing customers with the most outstanding services around. WebSitesGraphics.com is prepared to help you take the next step in business. After all, nothing makes a site more irresistible to consumers than its appearance."The above sage advice is brought to you by WebSitesGraphics.com. Be sure to check out their extensive portfolio. Dancer in the Dark and motion sickness. Blair Witch revisited? Motion sickness is one of my closest friends. Example... I can't even make it to Stinson Beach up Route One without feeling major ooginess. Sigh. Another nail in the coffin for Dancer in the Dark. Yesterday? Boo hoo encore! "A story is like water that you heat for your bath. It takes messages between the fire and your skin. It lets them meet and it cleans you!" - Story Water, The Essential Rumi thursday, october 12 Dancer in the Dark is on the top of my must see list but given my reaction to Breaking the Waves, I'm having second thoughts. Back then, riding up the escalator at the Angelica, towards the lobby, we tripped over a number of distraught women in the act of being awkwardly comforted by their companions. The landscape was adrift in tears and drippy hankies. Course, my own hysteria was slowly burbling and bubbling to the surface. By the time the chill of the wintery air hit my cheeks, I was in fine Heather Champ form. Tears running down my cheeks, nose running and makeup smearing. Sobbing uncontrollably, I headed home down Houston then West Broadway. Now, some people cry beautifully. Soap opera stars, actors, beauty queens and Olympic gold medalists (can't remember the last time I saw so many grown men cry on network television). Little, tiny kitten tears swarm their eyes to fill and then trickle down dewey cheeks with perhaps a sniff or two and a teasing sigh. Me? Forget about it! Let's start with my nose because it has a functionality unlike any other. I can spin thin, elegant, complex mucus webs. I am spider woman! Don't get all fussy. We're all human here. You know what I'm talking about. Tears? Buckets and buckets of water fall from my eyes. Sobs? Check. Deep, wracking sobs. What else? Oh, enough. You get the picture. I should have been a professional wailer. Anyway, I don't know what is was about Breaking the Waves that left me so bereft. Well, I do, but it would be way too much information. Consider yourself lucky. Bob Stein of VisiBone has sent me the most fabulous Web Designers Color Chart. You have to check them out. I'm going to invest in the Color Card as well. Thanks Bob! Silly kitty. Yesterday? More boo hoo! "I need a hundred mouths to say this, but I only have this one!" - Ayaz and the King's Pearl, The Essential Rumi wednesday, october 11 Microsoft made me cry I've spent the last twenty four hours slowly, calmly, patiently, transferring my life from my old PC to my sweet new love thing. It's gone remarkably well considering I really have no clue what I'm doing. I'd like to thank the wonderful tech support at Intel for holding my hand through networking beauty and the beast. You I love. I'd like to thank the wonderful tech support at Mindspring for holding my hand through the Rasppoe installation. You I love. I'd like to thank Tom and Ter for holding my hand through all of this.... You I love. If only it were all wine and roses. Microsoft? I own my own copy of Outlook 2000, but it didn't install over the copy that Dell built into my new system. Was I told? Of course not. Stupid me deleted a file that I'd just used to import all me email and it seems that Outlook forms some sort of lingering attraction to that file. There is a way to fix this problem, but because the installed version was Dell's and not mine, the Microsoft technician wouldn't spill the beans. He felt that Dell wouldn't have the expertise or the inclination to fix the problem. Conclusion? Dell can't and Microsoft won't. Even though I've purchased the software. Even though I'm waving my disk around in my hand as my impatience grew. Oh, I could pay a $35 per instance flat fee to get them to talk but otherwise, Microsoft would remain mum. You I despise. The rest of my day will be spent figuring out what joy Windows 2000 will bring and how many upgrade purchases are in my immediate future. harrumph! It looks like I'm not the only one doing the new system boogie woogie. Vicki had the following comment regarding personalized checks: "Funny you should mention checks; I was inspired by the pious nature of a friend's checks, which basically had different pictures of Jesus on each one. Now, I'm not a religious person by any stretch of the imagination, but the subtle wise-assed qualities of mailing my rent, electricity, and phone bill checks out with the power of Christ behind them was too much to resist.Tara confirms.... "Do you know what the PMDD treatment is? Sarafem! Do you know what Sarafem is? PROZAC! YAY!" Joan sends an URL for cybercandy - candy from around the world. "Most of us remember fondly childhood visits to the sweet shop, those special, special days when you were allowed WHATEVER you wanted... the dilemma, the bewilderment. So many choices. So many things you hadn't tried before. So many things still to try." Alas, based in the UK, it's not going to do me much good. We love (and hate - think if the calories!) Joan. A couple of keyboard options for those seeking simplicity. Ed sends word of the EnduraPro/104 and Theo champions the Happy Hacking Keyboard. Exploding dog has a swankie new colour T. The day before yesterday? Just checking "Pale sunlight, pale the wall. love moves away. The light changes. I need more grace than I thought" - Dissolver of Sugar, The Essential Rumi monday, october 9 Everybody stand in a line, shoulder to shoulder, facing me. Ready? Ok. If you have a checking account take one step forward. If you didn't take a step forward you can sit down (from now on, if you don't answer the question in the affirmative, consider yourself excused to the sidelines). When you ordered your personalized checks, did you select anything other than the standard green, blue or grey "security" checks? Do the checks that your ordered have anything other than a colour field background with some sort of simple decoration? Do these checks have pictures of landscapes, small, furry animals, cartoon characters, small, sad-eyed children, golf courses, national brand products, angels, fruit, or flowers? Can I ask you one question? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Saturday's mail delivery consisted entirely of one fat "coupon" envelope, replete with all manner of special offers. Nestled within this morass was an advertisement for Checks Unlimited. You've all seen these ads. You get to select a check that typically has four variations, from a wide array of designs. Here are a few of my personal favourites - Sesame Street, Garfield, Endangered Young'uns, Golf Getaways, Coca-Cola™ Brand Checks, Century Remembered, Country 'Scapes, and Serenity with Bible verse (Bible verse included at no extra cost). For the most part, you use a check to settle some sort of debt. Are we to feel better for the transaction because our senses are bathed in the beauty of our checks? Or maybe we are stunned sensless by the fact that we actually ordered them in the first place. I don't use checks all the much anymore as I pretty much pay everything online. I do however pay my rent by check. How about Precious Moments? It is, after all, a very precious moment when I sign over an indecent amount of money for my apartment every month. Yet another whopper FOJM update with twenty-six new photographs including the likes of
Erik,
Firda,
Caroline,
John,
Alison,
Xaymara,
Cat,
Flavio,
Sara, Adrian,
Lynsey, Jennifer, Tuesday,
Kevin-John,
Cheryl
Dom,
James, Owen,
Tom,
Willa,
waferbaby,
and Sara.
The count now stands at 254. Drop me a line with your snail mail if you'd like a few of the FOJM postcards and it's never, ever too late to submit your own mirror (or reflective surface) photograph to FOJM. Onward! Happy Thanksgiving! So, what do you think of the Brush Script? I was using it as a "script" placeholder in my "header" twiddle on Saturday and decided that it had it's own je ne sais quoi. Brush Script belongs to a group of much maligned fonts that everyone loves to hate. Caterina has a few thoughts on the matter. Yesterday? Chicken baby "I was dead, then alive. Weeping, then laughing. The power of love came into me, and I became fierce like a lion, then tender like the evening star." - Sublime Generosity, The Essential Rumi friday, october 6 Chicken baby  Yup! That's a chicken. Some people have albums of wonderful family mementos that include photographs of great-grand parents bouncing large, chubby, happy, thriving babies on their knee. Well, that must be some people other than my family. That's my great-grandfather on my fathers side. And sitting on his lap? That is chicken baby. It's a wonder that I can tie my own shoe laces. Many thanks to all those who wrote yesterday. Your kindness touched my heart deeply. Wishing Matt and Kay all the best. Fox premieres Freaky Links this evening. I'm so thrilled that the networks have their finger on the pulse of popular culture. Then again, NBC is bringing us Titans. They must have their finger on a different pulse. One located below the belt. Small, sweet, Hawaiian, condiment packages return. Will it never stop? Oh, the horror... the inhumanity! Jack's back with swanky, redecorated digs. Hit reload a few times. Yesterday? Remembering... "I am part of the load not rightly balanced. I drop off in the grass, like the old cave-sleepers, to browse wherever I fall." - The Milk Of Millennia, The Essential Rumi thursday, october 5  Pauline Agnes Louise Baulch Champ Campbell 1933 - 1982 It's snuck up on me again. Eighteen years ago today, my mother passed away the Friday before Canadian Thanksgiving. I remember when we first walked into the New General and she filled out the various pieces of paperwork. She listed her occupation as "survivor." She never gave up, she was a survivor in every sense of the word but this was a battle that she couldn't win. For a long time, this time of year was filled with debilitating grief. Grief, laced with anger and guilt. It's difficult to lose a parent as a child or young adult. There's too much left unsaid, unresolved and raw. Today I remember my mother. I celebrate her life. For the woman she was and for strength that she gave my sister and I. Maggie put her finger on the button when I mentioned PMS » PMDD yesterday. "Yes! Isn't it great! We're now mentally ill! I feel so much more at ease now." Joan sent the URL for a page with 252 penis euphemisms. My list was tawdry in comparison. "Become huge." John tells me that David Rees had a hand in rippedin2000. Tomorrow is the deadline to purchase the least expensive pass for SXSW 2001! Be there, or don't, but that would be a shame. I've got mine. Yesterday? Penis, penis, penis. "What is the body? Endurance. What is love? Gratitude? What is hidden in our chests? Laughter." - All Rivers At Once, The Essential Rumi wednesday, october 4 Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Just repeat the following a few times. Either out loud or as an inner monologue, it doesn't matter. This is an attempt to anaesthetize any possible unwanted giggliness which might result from any of the following. Don't get me wrong. Penis is a fine word and I'm not presuming that you have anything other than a normal reaction, but this is just a service for the few among us who just can't deal with the "p" word. Euphemisms just wouldn't be the same. Bone, choad, chode, chopper, dink, dork, lozenge, maggot, nob, pecker, pencil, plonker, prick, tadger, todger, (one eyed) trouser snake, tool, wankshaft, willie. They just aren't as precise or roll off the tongue quite like penis. Anyway, If you haven't read the original Penis Envy, well, go and read that first. We'll wait for you. Ok. So, we're all up to speed. I've long felt that Penis Envy deserved a simple follow up to illustrate the results. Unpacking revealed slides of the work and modern technology has made it possible to share them with you. Ladies and gentlemen, without any further ado... Penis Envy II. The Online Dictionary of Playground Slang was oh, so helpful with the euphemisms. I also came across My Favorite Euphamisms - a rather interesting, if not spare (no definitions) list. So, PMS has become PMDD. Have you seen the commercials? That's me with the shopping cart! Yesterday? Plain vanilla. "You are every image, and yet I'm homesick for you." - The Blocked Road, The Essential Rumi tuesday, october 3 Sometimes plain vanilla is just fine. Damn. Why is it that when you just want vanilla, you are confronted with "rocky road meets peanut butter fudge meets chocolate chip cookie dough?" A case in point. I was in desperate need of a new keyboard. I had come to this conclusion for a number of reasons:
I don't associate words like "Pro" or "Elite" or "wireless" or "natural" with keyboards. It appears that I'm in the minority. Keyboards have come a long way (baby) much to my befuddlement. You can't have too many buttons on a keyboard these days. More is better. More means faster, taller, further. More is good. Fuck more! I'd settled for no name when I managed to find a non clickety-clicky somewhat buttoned compromise on sale at the cash register. I haven't installed the software that would enable all the fancy buttons. Do I really want to be able to go "back" or "forward", "search" or "favorites?" I feel dirty. Short takes Is the news reporting on the latest round of Napster court appearances making you as crazy as it's making me? I found myself yelling loudly "it's not CD quality" at my radio while driving along Market Street late yesterday afternoon, startling myself and the gentleman in the vehicle to my left. What's the deal? A couple of recent threads over at MetaFilter have broken down into conversations about "us" and "them." I'd poke myself with a small, pointed stick if I felt that I was one of "us" and I doubt that "them" would have me. "Us" and "them" always makes me nervous. Things in the mail Ron has sent a copy of "Just watch me: Trudeau and the 70s generation." "Just Watch Me is a hip look at the Canadians who grew up in the '70s, in the shadow of Pierre Trudeau. Whatever they thought of the man, all would be profoundly moved by his dream of a bilingual country." John has sent "My new fighting technique is unstoppable" by David Rees. Jimmy Corrigan has left me feeling rather blue - Perhaps Rees' Karate Snoopy will help. Why Lance (and the rest of us) will never be published in McSweeney's. Speech therapy interviews Zeldman. There's a shiny new Pixhell over at waferbaby. Check out Cherrymag. It's the girlie issue! Diva vs. Goliath has come to a conclusion. You go girls! Hey! Something looks familiar. That's my hand writing. How cool is that? Friday? Mem-or-ries. "Would you like to see the moon split in half with one throw?" - Flutes for Dancing, The Essential Rumi |
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